there's a fungus among us, or why you should never eat bread in the dark

[viedma]

woke up from a nap a little bit ago and the only thing to eat was some bread and ramen. While heating up the water, i was checking mail and eating bread and absently noticing that mmmmmaybe it shouldn't taste *sweet*. Promptly spit it out and tried to scrub offending taste out of my mouth. Why is everything in the vicinity of my fridge like the Gallery of Regrettable Food?

btw, *everyone* loved my haircut. they thought i looked like a lil pixie. a 5'6", 165 lb pixie, but don't i look cute in my pink sparkly dress and twinkle toes?

people were just nice to me in general. had one of those days were i had to interact with the public, and they were so nice and helpful i wondered what parallel dimension i wandered into. why am i so cynical sometimes?

I read people's ljs today and marveled at how genuinely *nice* people can be, and why can't i act like that all the time. just be so happy and good natured. i want to be good natured, but i have a snarkbutt streak a mile wide. must..hold..onto..inner bitch..

Like this, for example. Lori, you're a sweet person, but you have to understand that when i spy any type of defensive fannish behavior, it's like a shark who gets her first whiff of nummy chum. I don't hate people who slash Nsync-- ok, i only hate just one-- but you have to admit that for a person like me who isn't into Nsync people's LJs are the best form of unintentional comedy. you mistake smugness for laughing in the face of the void, tis all.

hit a maudlin streak this afternoon when i resurrected an idea of mine to make a mix tape of the most heartbreaking, depressing songs and spoken word i can find. So far i have Michelle Shocked's "Stillborn", Tim Buckley's "I never asked you for a mountain", Luc Sante's spoken word about death, and an excerpt from Into the Wild. I figure if you're in an insufferably good mood you could listen to this tape and want to jump off a bridge, and why the HELL would i want to do this? not out of sadism, but some other unnameable thing. 4 tracks, 20 more to go...

got happy when Nafije called me and told me she passed the written part of the driver's exam. Huz-fucking-zah!!! I'm very happy for her. She knew all of this stuff ages ago but had a paralyzing case of exam nerves when she took the test 6 times in a month and kept missing the mark by a question or two, so she didn't go back until Saturday when her son gave her a mock test and she didn't miss a question. She told me that she ran out of the exam yelling I Passed! I Passed!! in Albanian. I can only imagine the scene at the DMV last weekend. yeah!

wow, i got through an entire journal entry without calling Nsync a bunch of talentless fuckheads. Oh, nevermind. It's too easy.

Comments

So close, yet so far away.

[minette.livejournal.com]

wow, i got through an entire journal entry without calling Nsync a bunch of talentless fuckheads.

[snerk] Almost, Mary, but not quite. Of course, I totally respect your snarky inner bitch, so no complaints from me.

I think NSync-bashing is the new fandom sport. It seems to have caught on quick. [g] Glad to see you participating so enthusiastically.

This is the sound of Nsync being strangled

[viedma.livejournal.com]

I really should set my sights on harder targets to bash, like Dan Quayle, but bashing NSync is so much *fun*.

I do this with every fandom-- if i find something that's a sacred cow, i'll tip it over. it's way too fun to call Blair Sandburg a brainless wonder or Ray Kowlaski keisterlly challenged, etc. People should have more fun and relax about their favorite fandom.

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

Glad people liked your haircut (don't mind me, I'm a worry wart)

And by being a snark, you are saying things that a lot of us think and feel, but don't say for various reasons. Unfortunately, this makes enemies, the kind that were sniping at you in your next post.

Patience with one's fellow human beans, be they arrogant, stupid, mean or just plain in your way, is not easy. It is worth learning though. I have it most of the time through a combination of Zen and profound cynicism. I have learned both not to expect much of life and other people, and to appreciate the good things in both that do crop up.

And remember, everyone has a story inside thier head in which they are put-upon but noble and couragious hero. Discover that story, and things get a lot easier.

[viedma.livejournal.com]

No need to worry, all is well. I'm just looking a bit more obvious these days. :D

"I have learned both not to expect much of life and other people, and to appreciate the good things in both that do crop up."

I totally understand. One of the lessons i'm always in the process of learning is that i can't expect people to do what i want them to, even though i'm soooo much smarter and wiser (hah) and what i propose for them would change their lives immeasurably for the better, and the problem is people don't work that way. Sometimes i want very much for people to see how great they are and that they don't need the things or people that try and whittle them down, but you can't. I've learned that trying to push people makes them retreat even farther, so the best thing to do is stand back and have some patience with people. But it's hard sometimes.

This desire to "change" others coupled with the compulsion to snark willy nilly, and i'm surprised i haven't been killed yet. :D

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

Ohhhhh can I relate. I am a psych major but opted for IT because all my well meaning attempts to help people just made people mad. Computers can be reasoned with. The pay-to-bullshit ratio is higher too.

Learning to let people make their own mistakes still is a work in progress.