one of our heads is destined for tinfoil

When I worked for the Periodicals Department, "tax season" meant people calling us up to look up decades-old stocks in The Wall Street Journal that had changed names three or four times and try to find the closing price on a given date when their Uncle Maynard bought it for them, or whatever. I used to imagine people paying their brokers and tax repairers loads of money per hour, not knowing that the broker's underlings would just call the library and get the information for free!