Reelaxin

[viedma]

For once i'm not writing a train wreck entry, and it feels good.

Yesterday i went for that walk down by the place where i was housesitting this week. Nice, quiet if you don't count the boom boom boom of someone's music in housing, the air smelled good, and it helped clear the cobwebs.

Sat down in a clearing and watched birds of prey get takeout fishies from the lake, watched baby deer playing hide and go seek with their brothers and sisters, and even scared a fox. for a place that used to be a chemical dump in WWI, it doesn't seem to affect the wildlife any.

Even got my journal paper for class written last night. Usually they take forever, but last night i cranked it out in no time at all. Maybe it's getting easier to write the more i do it.

Woke up this morning at 8am to my alarm going off. it took me about 3 hits on the snooze before i realized i didn't have to drive Kim and Giu to the airport today. My dream about Ben Affleck as Matt Damon's enthusiastic bottom was at least more interesting and less "oh my god i'm late to go to the airport!" than it was "Oh my *god* Ben's loud in bed..." Maybe Joanne and I switched dreams last Monday? It was a funny start to a hellacious week.

Doing great now. i know i should work on ESOL stuff and the research paper right now, but i'm not. I'm writing this and watching "The Watcher", which isn't too bad, even with The Keanu Factor-- James Spader will cancel out any mediocrity.

I just need to keep my head above water until the first week of June, that's all.

Comments

The clearing

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

I very much liked your description of the clearing by the lake. The juxtaposition of the unspoiledness with the fact that at one point in its history it was as spoiled as it gets was cool I thought. You can dig very deep into that very simple paragraph and find interesting subtext (Perhaps that Man only thinks he is destroying Nature, but in the end Man is the only one whose future is in question) You probably didn't intend it that way when you wrote it, but must deconstructions leave the author scratching thier head and saying "Huh???" if they are alive to see it.

When I am reading about sexuality in material that isn't supposed to boost stock prices in Kleenex Inc, I tend to enjoy a dose of crusty, worldly cynicism. But then I don't know what genre you are aiming for. Crusty Worldliness is enjoyable in detective novels and mainstream fiction, kind of a wet blanket in Fantasy, Sci-Fi and Erotica. But I think a dose of irony about the subject might suit your style, which has a strong dose of earthiness about it. But then, take this as an opinion from someone who would not be a member of your core audience.

I think your writing has potential, but you need to work on focus and flow. You kind of jumped from the clearing, to a morning after an enjoyable X-Rated dream and then.......???? Your day was, well, your day...a bunch of physical events out there in the Universe which the Universe may or may not give its own meaning to, but it doesn't pass this information on to us, therefore it is the writer's job to turn it into a narrative that appeals to the human need for drama.

I need to work on flow myself. But, you are right, practice does indeed make perfect in writing. I read the journal entries I wrote in my private journal from back in September and cringe with embarrassment.

I am trying to offer constructive criticism as I like seeing people grow in thier writiing. If this is unwelcome, please politely let my know and I will desist.

Re: The clearing

[justamy.livejournal.com]

hahahahahah...sorry...but hahaha

Re: The clearing

[viedma.livejournal.com]

I don't mind constructive criticism at all, DR. I don't think it's going to do much good for me, though. The reason that most of my writing is so flighty and jumping from one subject to another is because that's how i am in my real life.

Sometimes it connects with people, usually it doesn't, but this is just a place to write down the events of the day, relate stories, talk to friends, etc. Yeah, i'm a lost cause. :D I hear you, though. if you're going to read someone's journal, it's nice if it actually had some kind of narrative flow, but i'm not really working on it here.

Well, ok, sometimes i do. because i have a back key on the keyboard and not on my pencil, i find i do change things around more often than i would do in a written journal, otherwise the voice is essentially the same-- changing focus, distracted by small shiny things, everything.

about the clearing and how it rebounded, yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?

Re: The clearing

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

Well, I do enjoy your journal when you are on the more focused side. Of course your job is a little more interesting than some peoople's and I have been a civilian long enough to find Army life somewhat exotic.

I do think narrative flow can be worked on. There was one writer in a writing group that I was a part of who had more flaws in his writing than you do and became rather good by the time I left. Not everyone can become a concert pianist, but anyone can learn to play the piano better.

Besides, I think your life has some inherent drama to it that you kind of gloss over, but has lots of narrative potential. You are a bi woman in a subculture that really isn't freindly to it. You may or may not want to make the Army a career, but that will always be hanging over you every step of the way. Your superiors may wink and nod about it, but that may change based on local and national political conditions.

Working with all those dangerous chemicals I would think would have some dramatic potential. Yes, you capture the day-to-day-ness of your job, but you live around the raw materials of enormous human disaster. Yet another pair of hungry eyes staring at you at the perifery of your cozy campfire.

If you wanted to kiss and tell you could probably have a mountain of material that the average schlub would find exotic. Might not be a good idea though. Sex is one of those areas where most people think that anything they personally find distasteful is as much of a moral lapse as nerve gassing a packed football stadium to see the look on thier faces.

Anyway, I don't think your life is dull if you step back from step back from the bills, the trash, the vacuuming, the fights with lovers over nothing, cleaning the catbox and other mundane stuff.

One of the wonderful things about the Internet as opposed to TV is that it can help people find value in thier own story. I enjoy reading the stories of everyday people on my screen instead of only the stories of actors, potentates, and sports figures. The "rest of us" often are forgotten in our culture.

Re: The clearing

[viedma.livejournal.com]

I gloss over Army stuff on purpose, mostly because it's really not that exciting. What i do on a day to day basis is mind-crushingly dull. Truthfully, it's the lamest part of my day. I'd much rather put my time and energy into teaching and studying to become a librarian than stocking up a lab or doing repetitive tasks you can train anyone to do within a week. and some of my job isn't very pleasant-- i may talk about that one of these days, but i haven't decided yet.

I try to take the steam out of it, mostly because when i tell people i'm in the Army it always provokes a reaction. some people look at me funny, but most seem impressed in some weird way, like because i'm in i must be tough or something, and i'm really not. i can't run because i'm on the heavy side (by Army standards at least), i show up late to work all the time, and most days i sit in a cubicle or in the lab doing normal stuff. i like to show that i'm not any different from other people and their civilian jobs. for me, it is a job, no adventure at all. if they showed what i did in those commercials, no one would ever join. :D

Re: The clearing

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

I have a friend like that. He got to OCS after years of putting up with crap and he got his bars and he is...is......a health inspector that works in a hospital...yaaaaaaay!!!

In need of some constructive criticism myself

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

I liked the narrative flow of Friday's entry in my journal, but I think Saturday's was disrupted by Todd's Everquest encounter and was too long. But, i could use a second opinion.

Re: constructive criticism

[devon.livejournal.com]

Wow, I just can't imagine evaluating someone's journal as a piece of Writing. I mean, I typically type as fast as I can, just to get the thoughts down before they fly away. If my style or form is poor, that's a distant second to the content.

I'm not offended by the concept, just... unable to comprehend.

Re: constructive criticism

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

Feel safe, I don't do that to everyone. V is actually trying to be a writer. Unless I read your journal and you make reference to polishing your writing by being here, you have nothing to worry about.

Style and substance

[xp85goblin.livejournal.com]

The reason I focus on style over substance in the people whose journals I add to my friends list, is that, heck, we are all ordinary people here. We empty trash cans, we sell copiers, we go to high school....we repair computer networks. The substance of our lives is all very similar in that it is ordinary. The only thing that makes our story worth telling is the manner in which we tell it. And of course, we could be movie actors, sports figures, Navy SEAL's and world leaders, and if we couldn't tell our story effectively, no one else would care about it.

[justamy.livejournal.com]

just hanging on till june....oh don't i know...
we'll hang on till june together maybe
good luck =)
(i used to NEVER use emoticon smileys until live journal...odd)

hang in there

[viedma.livejournal.com]

Hey Amy, i hear you re the school thing. I read your entry earlier this week about not wanting to teach anymore. i didn't have time to respond then, but i hope you stick with it. it sounds like you really care about what you're doing. it's just the end of the term is all. it's nearly impossible to teach adults when the weather's nice; i don't know how the hell you do it with middle schoolers.

Me, I adore my students and i love teaching, but it's hard right now for a lot of reasons, very few of which have to do with the students themselves. they're amazing. I'm glad it's only a couple more weeks though.

Even though we teach different age levels, some things don't change, because i can relate to a lot of what you're saying.

[simplelyric.livejournal.com]

Heh, heh. So if we ever come visit you at the same time, Giu and I should plan to take a taxi to the airport in the morning? Or should we just put a spell on you so you don't dream about us?

Personally I think it would have made more sense for you to have been late to drop off and seeing Giu or I as bottom, but that's just twisted little me. ;-)

[viedma.livejournal.com]

Sure, who's passive and who's aggressive is everchanging and fluid, but i think i know who'd be the bottom in the Giu/Kim relationship. :D