![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
If you were wondering what that agonized scream was coming from the East Coast about five minutes ago, it's because i just spent two hours answering Beth's really cool survey questions only to hit the wrong key and have the entire thing go poof! up into the air.
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!
And now i'm not going to be able to post until I get back from FTX on Friday.
[lengthy expletive deleted]
In place of the survey, I wrangled permission from Vali and Beth to post excerpts from last night's chat dealing with our deep seated love of Harry Potter slash.
Oh, stop looking at us like that. They'll be legal in four or five years. Like you'd be able to resist the temptation of wizards with the ability to tie each other up with ropes shooting out of their wands. Sheesh.
Play "match the quote to the chatter" and win valuable prizes!
***************
On current events:
BTW, saw an interview w/JKR where she said, in response to a question about American wizards and Voldemort, that V's plan was "European domination first." The Hitler metaphors are piling up like bricks...
I hope some of these Draco apologists start feeling like Neville Chamberlain after the invasion of Poland, but that's probably a vain hope.
Damned right! It's their Manifest Destiny to...uh...ignore Voldemort until the last possible second.
Right--and they're not sure about stem cell funding, and they' refused to sign the Kyoto Witches for a Better Environ. agreement . . .
********************
On political correctness:
You don't say Pureblood, you say "wizard of homogeneous genetic ancestry."
********************
On original characters:
He's a typical first-year law student...dark circles under eyes, eating crap whenever he can spare a minute or two, robes looking like a cat hunted gerbils on them for a week. Oh, and he likes to tie Percy up and...well, never mind, I've bored you enough.
********************
On the movie (Or, as we like to put it: Why, Lucky, Why?):
Guys that direct Home Alone movies should be led out in stocks, not doing HP movies.
I like Steven Soderburg's movies, but he doesn't make the right *kind.*
No, Hal Hartley! "We have to go." "Why?" "To fight Voldemort." "Who?" "The wizard." "Oh." "There's nothing but trouble and desire. And blast-ended skrewts."
Don McKellar?
Ridley Scott does cool visual stuff--Hogwarts, Bladerunner style?
Noir Hogwarts.
Let's see . . . Tom Fontana! [vomits]
NOT Adrian Lyne, please--last thing we need is Kim Basinger as McGonagall.
Adaptation by Scholastic Pictures!
********************
On Harry/Sirius:
I just went somewhere fun. wanna follow?
Do we need protective gloves?
Yes, I'm obsessed. Leave me alone!
Moan like a bitch, Harry, you're getting paid good money for it.
I can TOTALLY see it, and it's so naughty and guilt-ridden.
I'd like Remus talking *hard* to Sirius about his little Harry fascination.
Condemnatory?
Well, concerned and a little jealous and stern--like, do you know what you're *doing*?
This ain't James Potter, Sirius my man...
And Sirius denies it all.
Yep, but Remus knows him better than he knows himself.
He should, after all that fucking.
I want lots of burning, scorching-hot kisses.
I'm thinking of Harry doing homework by the fire, Sirius in an armchair. Harry's in shorts, legs waving every which way...
Sirius getting all distracted by boys...
And Harry'd think it was Xmas and his birthday all in one, but he'd also be terrified, and Sirius would be *shaking* with desire and guilt but be unable to stop himself . . .
I see Harry instigating it bigtime, and Sirius is trying to tell himself this is wrong, this is so wrong, but when he finally capitulates...yowza...
And Harry--gosh--he thinks the world of Sirius--the sun rises and sets on his shoulders, and he's just so *excited* finally . . .
I see Sirius embracing Harry earlier at one point, then getting excited and pushing him away, and Harry doesn't understand (but he *does*), and...
Yeah. And Harry just *quivering* with energy and excitement and yeah--the conscious/not conscious thing, and Sirius crosses the line . . .
I love thinking about Sirius being so desperate to fuck him that he starts tearing at his clothes...
Sirius's hands gripped in Harry's untidy hair...
Pulling his head back...
Tracing his scar w/ his fingertips.
And Sirius just eats him *alive*...
As soon as i figure out a sorta convincing plot for Harry/Sirius I'll write it. Mostly it'll consist of Harry tripping and having all his clothes fall off and Sirius "accidentally" falls on top of him...
He would be so wracked with guilt. He's supposed to be *protecting* him, but he's overcome...
I want to see a VERY special documentary on the HP DVD.
You can put "She went to her grave loving boy-daddy porn" on my tombstone.
******************
On Our Favorite Children's Author:
JKR is a complete hellcat.
She probably writes HP with one hand. ACK! like you wanted to know that!
Hey, if she's going to have them blushing and shivering and trembling every third page, what are we supposed to do, huh?
I'm sorry, these books are porn in disguise. Thank you, JK!
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Yeah, thank *you,* JK!
Fucking her Harry-lookalike boyfriend on her motorcycle, taking handfuls of speed to finish Goblet of Fire...
Draco is based on a neo-Nazi Hell's Angel she knifed in a bar one fateful night.
*****************
Yaay, Hell is neat!
I enjoyed Voldemort tying Harry to the gravestone a little too much. There, I said it.
This is the time to let it all out, ladies!
::let's it all out, whether you want to hear it or not!!::
Harry should be forced to crawl around on his hands and knees at some point. I didn't say he had to *dislike* it.
Since we're being so confessional and all...
She does love to put Harry in peril A LOT. and I really like to read it a little too much. There, I've said it too. It was kinda hot.
Kinda?
:::looking for handbasket::
Ok, really hot.
********************
On Franchises:
Can I ask a scientist to make us our own HP fuck toys?
I like tall, lanky redheads with hornrimmed glasses who want to be turned into slave-sluts.
I enjoy fishing, cross country skiing, and oversexed male teenaged slut boys with red pubic hair.
"Yes, I'd like one Ron and one Harry both aged 16, a Percy aged 19 (please include rope, cane, etc.), one Sirius, one Remus, one Hermione, one James-and-Lily combo, one Snape and a faculty assortment. Oh, and...supersize it."
I want the Forge Happy Meal!
Mmm, so stocky and muscular. and hot! Did I mention hot?
Oh, Forge come free with each order. They're that slutty.
With Forge, it's all one big game of king of the hill, hubba hubba!
Rolling, rolling, rolling to the bottom, again and again.
They're in their own little world, and we wanna be in there with 'em!
*****************
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!
And now i'm not going to be able to post until I get back from FTX on Friday.
[lengthy expletive deleted]
In place of the survey, I wrangled permission from Vali and Beth to post excerpts from last night's chat dealing with our deep seated love of Harry Potter slash.
Oh, stop looking at us like that. They'll be legal in four or five years. Like you'd be able to resist the temptation of wizards with the ability to tie each other up with ropes shooting out of their wands. Sheesh.
Play "match the quote to the chatter" and win valuable prizes!
***************
On current events:
BTW, saw an interview w/JKR where she said, in response to a question about American wizards and Voldemort, that V's plan was "European domination first." The Hitler metaphors are piling up like bricks...
I hope some of these Draco apologists start feeling like Neville Chamberlain after the invasion of Poland, but that's probably a vain hope.
Damned right! It's their Manifest Destiny to...uh...ignore Voldemort until the last possible second.
Right--and they're not sure about stem cell funding, and they' refused to sign the Kyoto Witches for a Better Environ. agreement . . .
********************
On political correctness:
You don't say Pureblood, you say "wizard of homogeneous genetic ancestry."
********************
On original characters:
He's a typical first-year law student...dark circles under eyes, eating crap whenever he can spare a minute or two, robes looking like a cat hunted gerbils on them for a week. Oh, and he likes to tie Percy up and...well, never mind, I've bored you enough.
********************
On the movie (Or, as we like to put it: Why, Lucky, Why?):
Guys that direct Home Alone movies should be led out in stocks, not doing HP movies.
I like Steven Soderburg's movies, but he doesn't make the right *kind.*
No, Hal Hartley! "We have to go." "Why?" "To fight Voldemort." "Who?" "The wizard." "Oh." "There's nothing but trouble and desire. And blast-ended skrewts."
Don McKellar?
Ridley Scott does cool visual stuff--Hogwarts, Bladerunner style?
Noir Hogwarts.
Let's see . . . Tom Fontana! [vomits]
NOT Adrian Lyne, please--last thing we need is Kim Basinger as McGonagall.
Adaptation by Scholastic Pictures!
********************
On Harry/Sirius:
I just went somewhere fun. wanna follow?
Do we need protective gloves?
Yes, I'm obsessed. Leave me alone!
Moan like a bitch, Harry, you're getting paid good money for it.
I can TOTALLY see it, and it's so naughty and guilt-ridden.
I'd like Remus talking *hard* to Sirius about his little Harry fascination.
Condemnatory?
Well, concerned and a little jealous and stern--like, do you know what you're *doing*?
This ain't James Potter, Sirius my man...
And Sirius denies it all.
Yep, but Remus knows him better than he knows himself.
He should, after all that fucking.
I want lots of burning, scorching-hot kisses.
I'm thinking of Harry doing homework by the fire, Sirius in an armchair. Harry's in shorts, legs waving every which way...
Sirius getting all distracted by boys...
And Harry'd think it was Xmas and his birthday all in one, but he'd also be terrified, and Sirius would be *shaking* with desire and guilt but be unable to stop himself . . .
I see Harry instigating it bigtime, and Sirius is trying to tell himself this is wrong, this is so wrong, but when he finally capitulates...yowza...
And Harry--gosh--he thinks the world of Sirius--the sun rises and sets on his shoulders, and he's just so *excited* finally . . .
I see Sirius embracing Harry earlier at one point, then getting excited and pushing him away, and Harry doesn't understand (but he *does*), and...
Yeah. And Harry just *quivering* with energy and excitement and yeah--the conscious/not conscious thing, and Sirius crosses the line . . .
I love thinking about Sirius being so desperate to fuck him that he starts tearing at his clothes...
Sirius's hands gripped in Harry's untidy hair...
Pulling his head back...
Tracing his scar w/ his fingertips.
And Sirius just eats him *alive*...
As soon as i figure out a sorta convincing plot for Harry/Sirius I'll write it. Mostly it'll consist of Harry tripping and having all his clothes fall off and Sirius "accidentally" falls on top of him...
He would be so wracked with guilt. He's supposed to be *protecting* him, but he's overcome...
I want to see a VERY special documentary on the HP DVD.
You can put "She went to her grave loving boy-daddy porn" on my tombstone.
******************
On Our Favorite Children's Author:
JKR is a complete hellcat.
She probably writes HP with one hand. ACK! like you wanted to know that!
Hey, if she's going to have them blushing and shivering and trembling every third page, what are we supposed to do, huh?
I'm sorry, these books are porn in disguise. Thank you, JK!
Fuck, fuck, fuck! Yeah, thank *you,* JK!
Fucking her Harry-lookalike boyfriend on her motorcycle, taking handfuls of speed to finish Goblet of Fire...
Draco is based on a neo-Nazi Hell's Angel she knifed in a bar one fateful night.
*****************
Yaay, Hell is neat!
I enjoyed Voldemort tying Harry to the gravestone a little too much. There, I said it.
This is the time to let it all out, ladies!
::let's it all out, whether you want to hear it or not!!::
Harry should be forced to crawl around on his hands and knees at some point. I didn't say he had to *dislike* it.
Since we're being so confessional and all...
She does love to put Harry in peril A LOT. and I really like to read it a little too much. There, I've said it too. It was kinda hot.
Kinda?
:::looking for handbasket::
Ok, really hot.
********************
On Franchises:
Can I ask a scientist to make us our own HP fuck toys?
I like tall, lanky redheads with hornrimmed glasses who want to be turned into slave-sluts.
I enjoy fishing, cross country skiing, and oversexed male teenaged slut boys with red pubic hair.
"Yes, I'd like one Ron and one Harry both aged 16, a Percy aged 19 (please include rope, cane, etc.), one Sirius, one Remus, one Hermione, one James-and-Lily combo, one Snape and a faculty assortment. Oh, and...supersize it."
I want the Forge Happy Meal!
Mmm, so stocky and muscular. and hot! Did I mention hot?
Oh, Forge come free with each order. They're that slutty.
With Forge, it's all one big game of king of the hill, hubba hubba!
Rolling, rolling, rolling to the bottom, again and again.
They're in their own little world, and we wanna be in there with 'em!
*****************
