(no subject)

Last night i dreamed that i was dropping a little baby bird from a height of about five or six feet over and over again. He was fine, but his feet were all cracked and he was hurting although he was doing his best to hide it. I think i was doing this to make him stronger by exposing him to hardship; if he can survive the fall he can survive other tough stuff. Pretty fucked up, really. Like throwing your kid into the deep end to make them swim.

My Mom came into the room and yelled What are you Doing?!?! and when i looked down and saw his feet, it finally sank in that what i was doing was wrong. i put him down gently into some straw and let him go. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to talk to me again, but he showed no ill will, which can make you feel even worse sometimes.

In the end he was ok. He turned into a happy, healthy cat with no trace of sore feet, and i was glad that i hadn't done permanent damage.