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Basically i'm tired of having homicidal thoughts towards Sprint. (7 days of no service and counting) I still hate them, but wanting to do unspeakable violence and not being able to is making my chest feel tight and squeezy.
So i know you're thinking, why don't you quit your bitching and use another company, asshole?
Glad you asked. i can't. i tried. i called up AT&T in a fit of desperation trying to switch, and it never took hold. Sprint is a monopoly in the barracks, and being a monopoly means never having to say you're sorry. Please do me a favor and don't give another dime to those fuckers.
So i'm going to attempt to cheer myself up by finishing the very long Connexions conreport thingy. then i need to go to PT. then i want to drink a couple of glasses of wine and pretend not to be conscious for a while.
(psst: all the sentences starting with "--" are Vali's)
****************************************
--ConneXions, Day Two: C'Bird gets up early for
still *more* play rehearsal. Ugh.
Yep, even at cons i don't get to sleep in! But it
was cool-- better early than during the rest of
the day. I woke up, rolled over, and thought Vali
looks so adorable all wrapped and snuggled down
in the covers, burrowing like a bed termite. the
only thing left poking out are wild tufts of hair
that will be tamed into submission later on in
the day. resisted the urge to squeeze her like a
kitty, grabbed a shower and a 2-liter and headed out.
The rehearsal went well that morning too. we were
relaxed, goofing off, having fun, and that's when
i started to get worried. see, i haven't made an
ass of myself onstage since i was in high school.
(oh god, high school theater angst, LOL! i'll
have to remember to write on that someday) but i
remember that it's always better to fuck up in
rehearsal than to fuck up when you're actually
doing it. and i hadn't fucked up too tremendously
yet. so i figured i must be saving all my fuckups
for when we actually do it. not good! had visions
of the time i went to EFMB training a few years
ago: i did all the tasks perfectly the week before, and when i did it for a grade i screwed it
all up bigtime.
Leave the rehearsal and go make sammiches for the
boxed lunch, which went MUCH better than last
year. Last year whoever bought the stuff got too
much of one thing and not enough of another-- an
easy mistake to make, esp since that was the
first year they did this. so last year i got to
make horrendous sandwiches. like sprouts with
american cheese horrendous.
but this year it all got ironed out, and i
methodically started slapping meat and cheese
together like a robot, stacking them as high as
they could do until they started teetering. felt
a little guilty for touching food when i'm Evil
Germ Lady, but make a point of scrubbing my hands
many times and never touching my face whilst
sammich making. retroactive apologies to people
who got the sniffles after the boxed lunch...
Ker the Woman In Charge of Boxed Lunch and
Hospitality Room was awesome-- she had the whole
operation under control and was cool as a
cucumber the whole time. the only thing that
bummed her out about being stuck in the
hospitality room for the whole con was that she
didn't have access to a vcr and started going
through boobtube withdrawal. oh boy-- see, it's not enough to have the tv the hotel provides. one must be able to dictate what shows are on as well! So it was funny listening to her justifying the reasons for running to the store and buying a tv/vcr combination. and shore nuff, by the afternoon she was unpacking her new toy. Ker is a true fan, baby.
--Sleep in, wander around hotel, get lost, find
bearings, wander around some more, feel awkward,
get invited to breakfast by coterie of DC
Slashers.
This is what i love about DCS. they're fun,
friendly, and they don't make you feel like
you're 3 years old. I can't say enough good things about the group for making Vali feel at home.
--A good time is had by all, especially the woman
who ordered the bananas-and-brandy-stuffed French
toast.
and the woman is skinny as a rail. where does it
go?
--Accidentally put personal safety into jeopardy
anyway, by blurting out that Aaron Sorkin's
writing bores me to tears. Am angrily told by
several persons that he is a "god" and a
"genius," and that one must be an *intellectual*
to truly appreciate Sports Night
and The West Wing (snip)
Isn't that always the way? I love this show,
therefore it must be good. I hate this show,
therefore it must be bad. Of course, i do the
same thing. it's human nature. i do get twitchy
when people start calling TV writers geniuses,
however. if it's such a brilliant show, then we
don't need to slash it since it's already in
perfect form, right? Although i'm now remembering
a time when i called Paul Gross an evil genius.
oh, the shame, the shame...but i do it just to be
balanced. i called him a lot of other things too,
come to think of it-- words like "psychotic" and
"bastard" and "egomaniac", so i think i'm safe. Sometimes i think that if we all agreed that we watch crap then fandom would be a funner place.
--Attend precisely one convention panel, an
ostensible discussion of whether fandom eats its
young (it does) which becomes a lengthy kvetch
session about the sheer bloody awfulness of most
fan fiction writing (none of this, of course,
applying to the discussion participants
themselves).
Of course! Because "we" write the good stuff and
"they" write crap. ok, to be fair, i remember
reading something by one of the writers i
recognized and it was pretty good. didn't read
anything else.
Basically, i enjoyed being a contrary bastard at
the panel. regret that i backpedaled when someone
asked me a question by misinterpreting it and
thinking she meant i was attracting by shallow
writing. not shallow writing, but what drew me originally was seeing all yer buddies write it made me want to try it too. i'm attracted by the do it yourself nature of fanfic, what can i say except that i don't do much of it myself anymore?
Wondered aloud in the panel why people are attracted to crappy shows like TS, and was told that it's not the show itself that we're attracted to (which even TS fans agreed was pretty horrible), but that TS writers strive to make the characters better beyond what we see on tv. After the panel i got off on a tangent in my brain about TS as it could be instead of TS that is. asked Vali what the hell kind of vision of the show do people have in mind when they're writing and she reminds me that they're only writing it cuz the guys are hot. am promptly returned to Earth and thank her profusely.
--C'Bird takes life into hands by confessing she
doesn't see the point of zines, they being mere
overpriced ego-trip vanity printouts (the truth
shall set you free, *and* save you about
twenty-six bucks a pop).
I don't! and the thing is, i like zines fine. but
they don't offer more than the internet. But you
see them in print, you say? Fine, i can print
them at home and staple 'em. i can even slap a
cover on it.
--ConneXions, Day Two, Continued: Temporarily
abandon the premises to drive out to Takoma Park
and pick up C-S: DC Slasher, cynic, wit
extraordinaire, besotted of boy bands and
Wrestlemania and a thousand other things that
should indicate we have *nothing* to talk about,
when in fact there's never a dull moment and the
meaty, nourishing snark flies like popcorn
kernels from the teeth of circus freaks.
Not really more to add than that. just that C-S
is one smart, funny, amazing woman. and we snark and gossip and it's so *gooood*. As C-S once put it: it works on so many levels!
Go back and get changed into clothes skimpy enough to be a Japanese rope bondage demonstration dummy. Decide that a black sports bra, red satin shorts and fuzzy blue bedroom slippers will do the trick.
Get down there, let Feklar do some practice knots first, play MST hangman with C-S and Vali. C-S tells me about Dubya's latest verbal slipup: Iraquistan. is that spelled with a "K"?
Get harnessed in, and totally enjoy the experience. The verdict? Comfy. and Japanese rope bondage looks absolutely lovely, and many thanks to Devon and Feklar for strapping me in, so to speak. It felt strange to be tied up in front of women old enough to be my mom (or grandmom), but then again, why am i surprised? I hope i'm an older lady who's always looking for a few good ideas.
--Dine with F, Caorann, C'Bird, C-S and sundry in
hideously overpriced hotel restaurant, the Bird
leaving early to get ready for...the play. She is
horribly nervous.
Very! not because i was afraid to make an ass of myself, because if i was going to do it right i would be making an ass of myself. actually, i love looking like a fool in front of people, to give them something to laugh at like a weird surrogate dipshit thing. no, what i was worried about was that i'd flub a line, miss a cue, panic, forget where i was supposed to be, etc etc etc.
As it turned out, it wasn't all that bad once i got up there and remembered my first two lines. in fact, i didn't even see any of you guys once i got going. I *heard* you, but your faces were all just blobby things in the distance. i even remembered one of the lines that i kept stumbling on in rehearsal.
in short, 'twas *fun*. :D
and i got to wear my polka-dot jammies and my "Cocks" t-shirt, so i was comfy to boot.
Finish the play, and these two cute Rock Chix came up to me and were being all sweetlike. Excellent! Realize now why Charlie Sheen hasn't picked up a dayjob yet.
and people said really nice things about it too, it was quite a rush. once again, feel vaguely uncomfortable that i originally thought it wasn't very good, so i decide to repay the karma gods by deflecting the sweet things said onto the people who deserved it: Kim and Laura, the writers. I'm keeping all the sweet things Vali said about me all to myself though. I'm selfish and am *not* sharing. :D
--Stage is cleared away and all gather
'round yet again for...The Climactic Songvid Presentation.
It was pretty good, but I'm hoping we'll get to see more Starsky & Hutch vids next year. You know, some variety.
--C'Bird *again* takes life
into own hands by applauding wildly when an
X-Files vid features a panning shot of Mulder's
gravestone.
Never fear, m'dear, tis all part of the plan to get kicked out of the vidshow one of these days.
Vali was on my right saying things like, "oh, *i* get it" whenever s'thing slashy would happen, and C-S was on my left shushing people just for the hell of it and cracking me up whenever people followed sheeplike behind her in the "ssshhh" chorus. I'm sorry, but if you guys like the vids so goddamn much, buy a fucking copy of the tape and let the rest of us have a little fun, ok? the temptation to shout like the guy in "SlapShot" (I'm LISTENING TO THE FUCKIN' *SONG*!) was very very great, esp during lyricless songs like "Oh Yeah" by Yello, but for some unknown reason i resisted.
--Return to hotel, wander back to
the common area, where the Due South/Hard Core
Logo contingent has commanded the main television
and is watching Due South episodes with the sort
of rapt attention normally reserved for
announcements that Pearl Harbor's gone under.
Wow, that was something, wasn't it? and here were Vali and me:
Um, is that Due South?
I *think* so...wait! a saw red. it's gotta be.
But what ep? hmmm...
Which one is one with the cheap excuse for a plot?
**meaningful look**
ok, which one is the cheap excuse for a plot in the lake they call Michigan?
Mountie Something.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
So basically a couple of DS listmoms were pretty much enthralled not with the tape, but by everyone's reactions: all shining faces, at home in the world. it was bizarre, and yet at the same time they were relaxed and having a ton of fun, and who can fault that? it's weird to think that in 20 years a lot of those same people in the tv room that night will still see the show with the same happy look in their eye, but it's only weird because i'm a different type of fan: straddling the fence between serial monogamy and fanslut, with no great allegiances toward anyone.
but hell, whenever the main room at the con is still cranking with life at 1:30 in the morning, you've got a good con on your hands. a ton of people were watching Mounty on the Bounty, others were huddled in groups of 3 or 4, the small tv in the Wincopin Room was getting a workout, and the zine reading room was packed. Vali and i shuffled through the reading room looking for something good when the Dueser crowd started singing. we left before someone started handing out Kool-Aid.
The next day was pretty fun: got up at 11:30 and squeezed my woman before we had to start packing up and checking out. made Vali miss one of the panels on rare fandoms because i was in search of a restaurant that didn't cost more than $20 for breakfast. call me stingy, but it's a tad pricey in that hotel.
Wandered about afterwards reading the paper, trying to go see Memento (which didn't open that weekend, but we didn't know that yet). Was asked why i didn't show up to the book group book even though i'd only read 1/2 of the book. my contribution to the book discussion (Anne Rice's "Stink to High Heaven") woulda been, "well the 1/2 i *did* read sucked pretty hard..."
Said my goodbyes and got more squeezes and kisses from everybody. I'm really going to miss this con, you know? i don't know if i'm going to get to come back next year, but i'm going to try really hard.
The only real sour note was my fault; i Got lost while driving Feklar to the train station and had a Titanic-sized tanty which i think scared Fek a little bit. i feel sheepish and embarrassed for acting like an ass (wrote apologies to her later), but Vali cheers me back up. She's good at that, you see.
Uh guys? you still there? hello?
(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
wow, i just put all of LJ asleep. Cool!
So i know you're thinking, why don't you quit your bitching and use another company, asshole?
Glad you asked. i can't. i tried. i called up AT&T in a fit of desperation trying to switch, and it never took hold. Sprint is a monopoly in the barracks, and being a monopoly means never having to say you're sorry. Please do me a favor and don't give another dime to those fuckers.
So i'm going to attempt to cheer myself up by finishing the very long Connexions conreport thingy. then i need to go to PT. then i want to drink a couple of glasses of wine and pretend not to be conscious for a while.
(psst: all the sentences starting with "--" are Vali's)
****************************************
--ConneXions, Day Two: C'Bird gets up early for
still *more* play rehearsal. Ugh.
Yep, even at cons i don't get to sleep in! But it
was cool-- better early than during the rest of
the day. I woke up, rolled over, and thought Vali
looks so adorable all wrapped and snuggled down
in the covers, burrowing like a bed termite. the
only thing left poking out are wild tufts of hair
that will be tamed into submission later on in
the day. resisted the urge to squeeze her like a
kitty, grabbed a shower and a 2-liter and headed out.
The rehearsal went well that morning too. we were
relaxed, goofing off, having fun, and that's when
i started to get worried. see, i haven't made an
ass of myself onstage since i was in high school.
(oh god, high school theater angst, LOL! i'll
have to remember to write on that someday) but i
remember that it's always better to fuck up in
rehearsal than to fuck up when you're actually
doing it. and i hadn't fucked up too tremendously
yet. so i figured i must be saving all my fuckups
for when we actually do it. not good! had visions
of the time i went to EFMB training a few years
ago: i did all the tasks perfectly the week before, and when i did it for a grade i screwed it
all up bigtime.
Leave the rehearsal and go make sammiches for the
boxed lunch, which went MUCH better than last
year. Last year whoever bought the stuff got too
much of one thing and not enough of another-- an
easy mistake to make, esp since that was the
first year they did this. so last year i got to
make horrendous sandwiches. like sprouts with
american cheese horrendous.
but this year it all got ironed out, and i
methodically started slapping meat and cheese
together like a robot, stacking them as high as
they could do until they started teetering. felt
a little guilty for touching food when i'm Evil
Germ Lady, but make a point of scrubbing my hands
many times and never touching my face whilst
sammich making. retroactive apologies to people
who got the sniffles after the boxed lunch...
Ker the Woman In Charge of Boxed Lunch and
Hospitality Room was awesome-- she had the whole
operation under control and was cool as a
cucumber the whole time. the only thing that
bummed her out about being stuck in the
hospitality room for the whole con was that she
didn't have access to a vcr and started going
through boobtube withdrawal. oh boy-- see, it's not enough to have the tv the hotel provides. one must be able to dictate what shows are on as well! So it was funny listening to her justifying the reasons for running to the store and buying a tv/vcr combination. and shore nuff, by the afternoon she was unpacking her new toy. Ker is a true fan, baby.
--Sleep in, wander around hotel, get lost, find
bearings, wander around some more, feel awkward,
get invited to breakfast by coterie of DC
Slashers.
This is what i love about DCS. they're fun,
friendly, and they don't make you feel like
you're 3 years old. I can't say enough good things about the group for making Vali feel at home.
--A good time is had by all, especially the woman
who ordered the bananas-and-brandy-stuffed French
toast.
and the woman is skinny as a rail. where does it
go?
--Accidentally put personal safety into jeopardy
anyway, by blurting out that Aaron Sorkin's
writing bores me to tears. Am angrily told by
several persons that he is a "god" and a
"genius," and that one must be an *intellectual*
to truly appreciate Sports Night
and The West Wing (snip)
Isn't that always the way? I love this show,
therefore it must be good. I hate this show,
therefore it must be bad. Of course, i do the
same thing. it's human nature. i do get twitchy
when people start calling TV writers geniuses,
however. if it's such a brilliant show, then we
don't need to slash it since it's already in
perfect form, right? Although i'm now remembering
a time when i called Paul Gross an evil genius.
oh, the shame, the shame...but i do it just to be
balanced. i called him a lot of other things too,
come to think of it-- words like "psychotic" and
"bastard" and "egomaniac", so i think i'm safe. Sometimes i think that if we all agreed that we watch crap then fandom would be a funner place.
--Attend precisely one convention panel, an
ostensible discussion of whether fandom eats its
young (it does) which becomes a lengthy kvetch
session about the sheer bloody awfulness of most
fan fiction writing (none of this, of course,
applying to the discussion participants
themselves).
Of course! Because "we" write the good stuff and
"they" write crap. ok, to be fair, i remember
reading something by one of the writers i
recognized and it was pretty good. didn't read
anything else.
Basically, i enjoyed being a contrary bastard at
the panel. regret that i backpedaled when someone
asked me a question by misinterpreting it and
thinking she meant i was attracting by shallow
writing. not shallow writing, but what drew me originally was seeing all yer buddies write it made me want to try it too. i'm attracted by the do it yourself nature of fanfic, what can i say except that i don't do much of it myself anymore?
Wondered aloud in the panel why people are attracted to crappy shows like TS, and was told that it's not the show itself that we're attracted to (which even TS fans agreed was pretty horrible), but that TS writers strive to make the characters better beyond what we see on tv. After the panel i got off on a tangent in my brain about TS as it could be instead of TS that is. asked Vali what the hell kind of vision of the show do people have in mind when they're writing and she reminds me that they're only writing it cuz the guys are hot. am promptly returned to Earth and thank her profusely.
--C'Bird takes life into hands by confessing she
doesn't see the point of zines, they being mere
overpriced ego-trip vanity printouts (the truth
shall set you free, *and* save you about
twenty-six bucks a pop).
I don't! and the thing is, i like zines fine. but
they don't offer more than the internet. But you
see them in print, you say? Fine, i can print
them at home and staple 'em. i can even slap a
cover on it.
--ConneXions, Day Two, Continued: Temporarily
abandon the premises to drive out to Takoma Park
and pick up C-S: DC Slasher, cynic, wit
extraordinaire, besotted of boy bands and
Wrestlemania and a thousand other things that
should indicate we have *nothing* to talk about,
when in fact there's never a dull moment and the
meaty, nourishing snark flies like popcorn
kernels from the teeth of circus freaks.
Not really more to add than that. just that C-S
is one smart, funny, amazing woman. and we snark and gossip and it's so *gooood*. As C-S once put it: it works on so many levels!
Go back and get changed into clothes skimpy enough to be a Japanese rope bondage demonstration dummy. Decide that a black sports bra, red satin shorts and fuzzy blue bedroom slippers will do the trick.
Get down there, let Feklar do some practice knots first, play MST hangman with C-S and Vali. C-S tells me about Dubya's latest verbal slipup: Iraquistan. is that spelled with a "K"?
Get harnessed in, and totally enjoy the experience. The verdict? Comfy. and Japanese rope bondage looks absolutely lovely, and many thanks to Devon and Feklar for strapping me in, so to speak. It felt strange to be tied up in front of women old enough to be my mom (or grandmom), but then again, why am i surprised? I hope i'm an older lady who's always looking for a few good ideas.
--Dine with F, Caorann, C'Bird, C-S and sundry in
hideously overpriced hotel restaurant, the Bird
leaving early to get ready for...the play. She is
horribly nervous.
Very! not because i was afraid to make an ass of myself, because if i was going to do it right i would be making an ass of myself. actually, i love looking like a fool in front of people, to give them something to laugh at like a weird surrogate dipshit thing. no, what i was worried about was that i'd flub a line, miss a cue, panic, forget where i was supposed to be, etc etc etc.
As it turned out, it wasn't all that bad once i got up there and remembered my first two lines. in fact, i didn't even see any of you guys once i got going. I *heard* you, but your faces were all just blobby things in the distance. i even remembered one of the lines that i kept stumbling on in rehearsal.
in short, 'twas *fun*. :D
and i got to wear my polka-dot jammies and my "Cocks" t-shirt, so i was comfy to boot.
Finish the play, and these two cute Rock Chix came up to me and were being all sweetlike. Excellent! Realize now why Charlie Sheen hasn't picked up a dayjob yet.
and people said really nice things about it too, it was quite a rush. once again, feel vaguely uncomfortable that i originally thought it wasn't very good, so i decide to repay the karma gods by deflecting the sweet things said onto the people who deserved it: Kim and Laura, the writers. I'm keeping all the sweet things Vali said about me all to myself though. I'm selfish and am *not* sharing. :D
--Stage is cleared away and all gather
'round yet again for...The Climactic Songvid Presentation.
It was pretty good, but I'm hoping we'll get to see more Starsky & Hutch vids next year. You know, some variety.
--C'Bird *again* takes life
into own hands by applauding wildly when an
X-Files vid features a panning shot of Mulder's
gravestone.
Never fear, m'dear, tis all part of the plan to get kicked out of the vidshow one of these days.
Vali was on my right saying things like, "oh, *i* get it" whenever s'thing slashy would happen, and C-S was on my left shushing people just for the hell of it and cracking me up whenever people followed sheeplike behind her in the "ssshhh" chorus. I'm sorry, but if you guys like the vids so goddamn much, buy a fucking copy of the tape and let the rest of us have a little fun, ok? the temptation to shout like the guy in "SlapShot" (I'm LISTENING TO THE FUCKIN' *SONG*!) was very very great, esp during lyricless songs like "Oh Yeah" by Yello, but for some unknown reason i resisted.
--Return to hotel, wander back to
the common area, where the Due South/Hard Core
Logo contingent has commanded the main television
and is watching Due South episodes with the sort
of rapt attention normally reserved for
announcements that Pearl Harbor's gone under.
Wow, that was something, wasn't it? and here were Vali and me:
Um, is that Due South?
I *think* so...wait! a saw red. it's gotta be.
But what ep? hmmm...
Which one is one with the cheap excuse for a plot?
**meaningful look**
ok, which one is the cheap excuse for a plot in the lake they call Michigan?
Mountie Something.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
So basically a couple of DS listmoms were pretty much enthralled not with the tape, but by everyone's reactions: all shining faces, at home in the world. it was bizarre, and yet at the same time they were relaxed and having a ton of fun, and who can fault that? it's weird to think that in 20 years a lot of those same people in the tv room that night will still see the show with the same happy look in their eye, but it's only weird because i'm a different type of fan: straddling the fence between serial monogamy and fanslut, with no great allegiances toward anyone.
but hell, whenever the main room at the con is still cranking with life at 1:30 in the morning, you've got a good con on your hands. a ton of people were watching Mounty on the Bounty, others were huddled in groups of 3 or 4, the small tv in the Wincopin Room was getting a workout, and the zine reading room was packed. Vali and i shuffled through the reading room looking for something good when the Dueser crowd started singing. we left before someone started handing out Kool-Aid.
The next day was pretty fun: got up at 11:30 and squeezed my woman before we had to start packing up and checking out. made Vali miss one of the panels on rare fandoms because i was in search of a restaurant that didn't cost more than $20 for breakfast. call me stingy, but it's a tad pricey in that hotel.
Wandered about afterwards reading the paper, trying to go see Memento (which didn't open that weekend, but we didn't know that yet). Was asked why i didn't show up to the book group book even though i'd only read 1/2 of the book. my contribution to the book discussion (Anne Rice's "Stink to High Heaven") woulda been, "well the 1/2 i *did* read sucked pretty hard..."
Said my goodbyes and got more squeezes and kisses from everybody. I'm really going to miss this con, you know? i don't know if i'm going to get to come back next year, but i'm going to try really hard.
The only real sour note was my fault; i Got lost while driving Feklar to the train station and had a Titanic-sized tanty which i think scared Fek a little bit. i feel sheepish and embarrassed for acting like an ass (wrote apologies to her later), but Vali cheers me back up. She's good at that, you see.
Uh guys? you still there? hello?
(zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
wow, i just put all of LJ asleep. Cool!