Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you....

Happy Birthday dear Vali,
Happy Birthday to you!!!

I love ya, hon. Have a happy b-day, a happy year, and many, many more birthdays.

heheh, you're all old and stuff... [snickersnack]

(no subject)

It's been a day of missing it by *that* much. The Get Smart guy would've been proud. Missed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" by 15 minutes, didn't find the book or CD i was looking for, but i think i did find the song Tim Buckley sang at the end of "Coming Home"-- 'I never promised you a mountain'. It was cool, i put on the headphones in the cd store and forgot where i was and the piped in store music faded away. But i didn't buy the cd. i came for other quarry.

Last night just before i fell asleep was so weird-- i woke up and i felt like i was falling inside of my body, and it was still dark outside and the light looked like it was fading in and out. Oy, i died! :) still, it made me feel strange, like i was forcing myself back from something. I remember grounding and centering all the time and would've been jazzed and would've run with it at one time, but i made me feel strange. I also had dreams where i walked past one of the labs i work in and my p.i. was in there. i surprised him and went after me to bump me off. when i see him next week i'm going to tell him to knock that shit off. Just to prove it wasn't going to come true, i did have to go back into work to get a book i left in the lab, and i emerged unscathed.

Also, it didn't help that Ira Glass did a wholly depressing Valentine's Day show on This American Life. One of the coolest things i remember was someone's epitaph: Be fearful of what death can take away.

I'm really not obsessed with death, really! ok, sometimes i think about it. Then i think about how good wonton soup would taste for dinner. No sense thinking about it all the time. Death, i mean. not wonton soup. I can think about wonton soup every minute of the day.

I'm trying to write down what i think about snuffing it and none of it comes out right, so i'm giving up. i'll let a character in a story speak for me one of these days...

i also luxuriated in bed for a while like a cat in a sunbeam and listened to peaceful music and let my mind wander and thought about story ideas. that was nice, just watching the dust motes and drifting away and looking at the threads on my pillow up close. Snug as a bug in a rug.